Lily Allen released a new album on 24 October last year. I was already familiar with some of her songs, such as ‘The Fear’, ‘Smile’ and ‘Fuck You’, but I hadn’t paid any attention to her personal life or her acting roles, and I didn’t even know she was married to David Harbour, the Stranger Things actor who plays Eleven’s adoptive father in the series. It’s a series I love and highly recommend. Lily Allen, who started out by posting her music on MySpace, is an artist who has made a name for herself through her performances, activism and, sadly, her substance abuse, which has led to some controversial appearances. She confessed that this album, *West End Girl*, was written in just 16 days and that she wasn’t sure whether she’d release it, as it started out as a way to let off steam – a catharsis and a form of healing – for what she was going through in her personal life regarding her divorce from David Harbour.
The album is incredible!
Lily Allen has written a story through her music, as if it were a book, about what happened to her. With this album, I feel as though I’m in a bar with Lily Allen sitting opposite me, and she’s telling me her story through 14 songs. We’re best friends, and we’re going through this together…
Before I formally get into my impressions and feelings about each song, I’d like to highlight the production of this album. The music that accompanies each narrative is perfect; everyone deserves credit for managing to create such an atmosphere around the lyrics and the interpretation of the story being shared
I’m going to add some stars to highlight the songs I like best.
It begins with West End Girl:
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The first track is the introduction and gets off to a very cheerful start; she recounts how they moved to New York and how, to her, her family’s future looked bright – she had even been cast in a play in London. And this is where the whole plot of this album, of this story, begins. Her then-husband wasn’t very happy about his wife’s success, and she ended up finding that very strange.
"I walk up the stoop, I put the key in the door And then my phone started ringing so I answered the call And they were like, "Hey, you've got a lead in a play You've gotta be back in London for rehearsals in May" And then later that evening, you said how was my day I said, "I got some good news, I got the lead in a play" That's when your demeanor started to change You said that I'd have to audition, I said, "You're deranged"
And I thought I thought that that was quite strange (I found that strange) And I thought I thought that that was quite strange (so very strange)
But I ignored it Went ahead and I bought it Got a flight and I boarded I'm on my way"
Then she received the phone call that would change everything. We can’t hear what’s being said on the other side, but in Lily Allen’s voice you can sense the confusion, the bewilderment and the resignation. The production on this track is incredible; just as the song is building to a climax with the good news, she receives the phone call, and for the whole time she’s talking, the background music keeps the narrative in suspense. Brilliant!
And the second song isRuminating.
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Ruminating is an exceptional track! The beat is catchy and perfect for dancing, while the lyrics present a stark contrast; they reflect on the moment when she had to confront the message of the initial song. Ruminating signifies the act of repeatedly thinking about the same issue; it turns into an obsession, mirroring her behavior with the word in the song. The additional voice that harmonizes with her throughout the piece creates the impression of a ghost accompanying her. She is experiencing anguish.
I told you all of this has been too brutal
You told me that you felt the same, it's mutual
And then you came out with this line, so crucial
Yeah, if it has to happen, baby, do you want to know?
If it has to happen, baby, do you want to know?
If it has to happen, baby, do you want to know?
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know
But what a line, line, line
What a fucking line, line, line
What a fucking line, line, line
What a fucking line, line, line
What a fucking line, line, line
What a fucking line
What a fucking line
Sleepwalking
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Sleepwalking is very good; she is in a state where it is difficult to understand what is happening, and he, apparently, as a manipulator, attempts to guilt-trip her by claiming that he requires others to liven up their sex life. His demands put her in a position where she has no control over her relationship or her marriage. She is sleepwalking. She ends up begging to do it with her.
She ends up begging him to do it with her.
"I know you've made me your Madonna
I wanna be your whore
Baby, it would be my honour
Please, sir, can I have some more?
I could preserve all of your fantasies
If only you could act them all out with me"
Tennis
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This song has a phenomenal intro and the rest of the track is perfect.
She says that she went to check his messages because she found strange how distant he seemed when he got home and the way he took his mobile from her hand. She discovered that, even though she’d agreed that he could have a few flings outside their marriage, she knows Madeline and he plays tennis with her. This ‘tennis’ could be code for ‘doing other things’.
"I need to be alone So I took myself to bed I got a lot of information That I can't even process So I wrote a little email And I told you what I saw And then you came up to the bedroom And you made it all my fault
But you moved the goalposts You've broken the rules I tried to accommodate But you took me for a fool
So I read your texts And now I regret it I can't get my head 'round how you've been playing tennis If it was just sex I wouldn't be jealous You won't play with me And who the fuck is Madeline?"
Madeline
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The song starts like we’re hearing and watching a duel from a Western film. I’m not condoning violence or the use of firearms, but I do understand why she uses them—in the sense that she feels betrayed by him and by Madeline, because she is someone she knows. The agreement that she had with her husband was that the person hás to be a stranger. In this song, she shares the messages that Madeline sent to explain herself and feel better about what she’d done.
"How long has it been going on? Is it just sex or is there emotion? He told me it would stay in hotel rooms, never be out in the open Why would I trust anything that comes out of his mouth? Oh, why would I trust anything that comes out of his mouth?
We had an arrangement Be discreet and don't be blatant There had to be payment It had to be with strangers But you're not a stranger, Madeline"
Relapse
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Lily Allen went through a difficult period due to her addictions and has been sober for five years. She used to take drugs and drink alcohol. The album is, in its entirety, a revelation of the trauma she experienced when she realized her husband was cheating on her with a friend and that she had lost the happy life she had. It is possible that she was sober while she was with him. All these events in her life may lead to a feeling that she will be unable to control. No Relapse Please!
Pussy palace
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‘Pussy Palace’ is the track that sets the tone for the album. Some say the melody is inspired by the soundtrack of Stranger Things because her ex-husband, David Harbourg, plays one of the leading roles. Pussy Palace, as the name suggests, is about discovering her husband’s infidelity and how the place where he lived – rather than being a place of retreat – was, in fact, a place where he would meet his mistresses for sex. And she recounts what she discovers.
"I found a shoebox full of handwritten letters
From brokenhearted women wishing you could have been better
Sheets pulled off the bed, they're strewn all on the floor
Long black hair, probably from the night before
Duane Reade bag with the handles tied
Sex toys, butt plugs, lube inside
Hundreds of Trojans, you're so fucking broken
How'd I get caught up in your double life?"
4chan Stan
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I admit I had to look up what the title meant. And from what I’ve seen, 4chan is a site where people can post anything anonymously. The situation she finds herself in makes her suspicious, and she comes across a receipt from the supermarket for a bag bought on 24 May – a day when she wasn’t with him. She wants to know who os it? The link to the site may stem from the fact that it’s not very well known, that it’s very secretive, with users who might not be entirely trustworthy because they hide behind pseudonyms. He wants to keep this affair anonymous. That could be one of the reasons for the song’s title…
"I went through your bedside drawer You know I've never been inclined to have to do that before Never been in Bergdorf's But you took someone shopping there in May, twenty-four
You bought her a handbag, it wasn't cheap I was in London, probably asleep Did you go to Montauk for the weekend? And was there an encore? Did it pay dividends? Is that why
Why won't you tell me what her name is? This is outrageous What, is she famous? Say that it's over Do you mean a hiatus? Why won't you tell me?"
Nonmonogamummy
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I love Nonmonogamummy; the pace is really entertaining, especially with the introduction of Specialist Moss. It’s about how she accepts that she can be a non-monogamous mom because of the circumstances, but it’s something that weighs heavily on her.
"I don't want to fuck with anyone else
I know that's all you want to do
I'm so committed that I'd lose myself
Because I don't want to lose you
I changed my immigration status
For you to treat me like a stranger
Why do I feel like such a failure?
A life with you looked good on paper
I've been trying to be open
I just want to meet your needs
And for some reason
I revert to people pleasing
I'll be your Nonmonogamummy
I'm just trying to be open"
Just Enough
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‘Just Enough’ is exactly what the title suggests. She believed in the love in this relationship and gave everything she could, only to realize that her husband had cheated on her. It is even possible that he had fallen in love with his mistress. The words suggest, once again, a willingness on her part to be submissive in order to avoid reaching a point of no return. It would indeed be very problematic if her then-husband were to get his mistress pregnant, and not her. I think these thoughts (in hindsight) are what anyone would have, because deep down it could happen to any of us.
"Did you fall in love With someone who isn't me? Why are we here talking about vasectomies? Did you get someone pregnant, someone who isn't me? Did you take her to the clinic? Did you hold her hand? Is she having your baby?
But you You give me just enough Hope to hold on to... nothing Yeah, you You give me just enough Hope to hold on to... don't you?'
Dallas Major
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Dallas Major is great fun; it’s about her return to dating apps. She says quite clearly that she hates this new reality – this new version of herself – and invents a surname so that nobody will recognize her: Dallas Major.
"My name is Dallas Major and I'm coming out to play
Looking for someone to have fun with while my husband works away
I'm almost nearly forty and just shy of five-foot-two
I'm a mum to teenage children, does that sound like fun to you?
'Cause I hate it here
I hate it here
I hate it here
I hate it, I hate it
So I go by Dallas Major, but that's not really my name
You know, I used to be quite famous, that was way back in the day
Yes, I'm here for validation and I probably should explain
How my marriage has been opened since my husband went astray"
Beg For Me
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I love Beg for Me is a really interesting song. Once again, she reveals her vulnerability in the face of events. She’d like him to fight for her, to beg her to come back. The rhythm doesn’t quite fit the message, but it’s so good.
"I feel embarrassed, I feel ashamed
You're so indifferent and that's insane
Where's all your empathy for, for all my pain?
My friends all tell me you are deranged
I wanna feel held, I wanna be told I'm special and I'm unusual
I want your desire, I wanna be spoiled, I wanna be told I'm beautiful
Why won't you beg, beg, beg for me?
Why won't you beg, won't you beg for me?
Oh-oh
Why won't you beg, beg, beg for me?
Why won't you, why won't you beg for me?
Oh-oh"
Let You W/In
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‘Let You W/in’ is a very personal and very feminine song. She sings about how she explained the breakup to her children, who had lived with David as their stepfather. There’s a heartache she can’t contain; she’s been betrayed, and there’s no way she’s going to let him win by saying the breakup was a mutual decision! I’ll post the full lyrics here. It’s phenomenal!
"I've become invisible
Stuck here in my palace
I'm so fucking miserable
In my rabbit hole, yeah I'm Alice
And I'm expected to be nice
Picking up the pieces
What is it you sacrifice?
I'm protecting you from your secrets
Don't tell the children
The truth would be brutal
Your reputation's unstained
God knows how long you've been
Getting away with it
I've already let you in
All I can do is sing
So why should I let you win?
I will not absorb your shame
It was you who put me through this
I could tell myself you'll change
Do it all again
Be deluded
Never get your sympathy
I don't think you're able
But I can walk out with my dignity
If I lay my truth on the table
Lie to the children, the ending was mutual
I'll shoulder all of the pain
I'm sick of carrying
Suffering for your sins
I've already let you in
So why should I let you win?
You've taken everything"
Fruityloop
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‘Fruityloop’ is a brilliant track! It’s my favorite on the album. Once again, the production is incredible and the lyrics are fantastic. The track is the perfect way to round off the album and the narrative.
"You're just a little boy looking for his mummy
Things have gotten complicated what with all the fame and money
Playing with his toys, he just wants attention
He can't really do attachment, scared he's gonna be abandoned
And finally I see (I see)
It's not me (me, me), it's you
It's what you've always done, it's what you'll do
Forever till you die, it's true
It's not me, it's you
And there was nothing I could do
You're stuck inside your fruity loop
Me, me, me, me, me, me
Me, me, me, me, me, me
I'm just a little girl looking for her daddy
Thought that we could break the cycle, thought that I could keep you happy
It is what it is, you're a mess, I'm a bitch
Wish I could fix all your shit, but all your shit's yours to fix
'Cause it's not me (me, me), it's you
It's what you've always done, it's what you'll do
Forever till you die it's true
It's not me (me, me), it's you
And there was nothing I could do, you're stuck inside your fruity loop
There was nothing I could do, you're stuck inside your fruity loop"
Interview on CBS Morning. Very interesting!
I may have waited a long time to write this message, but my adoration for this album hasn’t changed. It’s an album by a mature, honest, vulnerable woman. It’s probably one of the best albums ever made. There aren’t any dance tracks (I dance to ‘Fruityloop’ and ‘Beg For Me’), there aren’t any hits… Hello… it’s the story of a wounded woman!
Lily Allen is on tour and I’d love to go and see her. Come to Portugal, please!
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